Eavesdropping
by Fried Cheesecake
Summary: Spoilers present. Kratos and Mithos spy on Yuan and Martel. Chap 6: Lloyd is James Bond!
1. Part I

**Disclaimer: Do not own.**

Pretty much as the summary says.

* * *

"No way..."

"Mithos-"

"Just... no way!"

"Mithos-"

"I can't believe it! Martel would never like- oh, look, ha! She's making fun of him!"

"Mithos-"

"Look, look! She's leaning away, she's laughing, she must think he's stupid- wait, she's leaning back in!"

"Mithos, he's flirting with her."

"Argh, what a creeper! He's like- molesting her!"

"Mithos. He is not molesting her. He is touching her shoulder."

"Yeah, he's in her personal space! She doesn't like it! She- HOLY-"

"If she doesn't like it, then why did she just kiss him?"

"OH- GODS- YUAN- HE JUST- I'M GONNA KILL HIM!"

"Calm down, Mithos."

* * *

LOL, this came to me randomly and I just had to write it down.


	2. Part II

**Disclaimer: **Do not own.

* * *

"_Ow…_"

Sigh.

"Mithos is _so _mean…"

"Maybe you shouldn't have let him see you kiss his sister."

"Hey, he was the one spying on me! I didn't exactly have a say in that matter!"

Another sigh.

"Kratos, stop sighing, it's getting on my nerves."

"…"

"Good morning Kratos!"

"Good morning Martel."

"Hey Yuan!"

Smooch.

"GAH! _YUAN!"_

"AAH! I swear, I swear I didn't do anything!"

"Mithos, don't hit him!"

"He violated your personal space!"

"_I _was the one who kissed _him_!"

"But- but-"

"Mithos!"

Sigh. "Fine, I'll let him go."

Groan. "… little brat…"

"HEY!"

"Oh crap!"

"_Mithos!_"

"…"

"KRATOS, HELP ME!"

"…"

"_KRATOS!" _

"…heh…"

* * *

Lolz, Kratos is so helpful. Review!


	3. Part III

"Hey Kratos?"

"…"

"Have you seen Yuan and my sister?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Well, _have you_?"

"They… went for a walk."

"Oh. Where?"

"…you should probably stay here, Mithos."

"Huh? Why?"

Sigh.

"_What?_ Why do I have to stay here?"

"Martel said they wanted some… 'alone time'."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"WHAT THE HECK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?"

Frustrated sigh. "Mithos-"

"They're probably snogging again! Argh, when I catch him-"

Footsteps.

"Huh?"

"They're back, Mithos."

Growl.

"Who's snogging again?"

"_YOU!_"

"ME? What did I do? AAHH! Kratos, _help me!_"

"… Run, Forrest, run."

"_What?"_

"You're back."

"Yes. Just in time to see Mithos killing Yuan."

"Should we help him?"

"Nah, this is kinda amusing."

* * *

Once again, Kratos is very helpful. But this time, Martel's in on it too. :P


	4. Part IV

"I'm bored."

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not."

"No, I'm not."

Glare.

"..."

"You're boring, Kratos."

"...thank you."

"...."

"...I think."

"Whatever. When are Yuan and Martel getting back?"

"I don't know, Mithos."

"Where'd they go, anyways?"

"..."

"What? Tell me!"

"Mithos, we've had this conversation before."

"No we haven't."

"..."

"Pleeeeeeeeeease-"

"Why do you want to know so badly?"

Scowl. "I don't trust Yuan."

"I know that."

Pause. Then- "Do _you_ trust him?"

"Yes. Yes, I do."

Furrowed brow. "Do you-... nevermind."

"What?"

"Do you... _like _him?"

"..."

"..."

"...what kind of 'like'?"

"Like, 'friend like'."

"Then yes."

"... do you _like-like_ him?"

Sigh. "What kind of 'like' is that?"

"The like-like kind of 'like'."

"..."

"What?"

"Please elaborate."

"Do you have a crush on him?"

Glare. "No."

"Geez. Why so serious?"

Pause. "Did you see The Dark Knight, Mithos?"

"Huh? No, why?"

"...nevermind."

"Are you-"

"No, I am not gay."

"That's not what I was going to ask!"

"Of course not, Mithos. Of course not."

* * *

Mithos and Kratos sit in the hotel while Yuan and Martel go off somewhere. Let's pretend that they go to a bar and come back drunk. Serious lolz.

But I think that Kratos _does_ have a crush on Yuan. ;D

**Disclaimer: Do not own TOS. *dances***


	5. Anna and Kratos play the Synonym Game

Wrote this last night... so I decided to post it here. Because I can.

* * *

"Anna, you start."

"Copycat."

"Duplicate."

"Replica."

"Xerox."

"...ok, you got me. You start."

"Friend."

"Pal."

"Partner."

"Chum."

"Bud."

"Buddy."

"Mate."

"Uh... damn it, Kratos; you're too good at this game!"

"Heh. You start."

"Hmm... _sex_."

"How the hell am I supposed to-"

"Play the game, Kratos, play it!"

"Humph. Fine. Sexual intercourse."

"...crap."

"See, now you're stuck."

"No, I'm gonna get one! Uh... making whoopee!"

"...that hardly counts."

"So?! It works, doesn't it?"

Sigh. "I suppose."

"Ha. Beat that."

"Making love."

"Damn it, Kratos!"

"_Play the game, Anna!_"

"Shut up. Um... conception."

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"Sex and conception are not the same thing."

"But sex leads to conception!"

"Not necessarily."

"... you're an asshole."

"...humph."

"Speaking of conception..."

"...yes?"

"Well, let's put it like this- in our case, sex does and already _has_ led to conception."

"..."

"...Kratos?"

"..."

Faint.

"..."

Kick.

"That's what you get for knocking me up, asshole!"

* * *

Anna watches too much of The Newlywed Game. (Making whoopee, lolz.)

**Disclaimer: **Do not own.


	6. Lloyd is James Bond!

It's nighttime, and the party is resting at the inn in Meltokio. They split up into two rooms- one for girls and one for guys.

In the guys' room, everyone is sleeping soundly. It is dead silent.

All of a sudden, Lloyd screams bloody murder and jumps up, standing on his bed and drawing his swords. Everyone else awakens immediately, shocked, just in time to see Lloyd jump off the bed and perform an awesome James Bond roll, ending up kneeled in front of the door with both of his swords pointed out in front of him.

Genis, Regal and Zelos all scramble for their weapons- and after a good thirty seconds of complete and utter silence as everyone points their weapons at the door, Lloyd sheaths both of his swords and stands up straight.

Turning around, he notes the three other guys with their weapons out. "What are you guys doing?" he asks, extremely confused. "What's going on? Why are you aiming at me?"

"We're not at aiming at you, stupid!" Genis replies, sounding frightened. "We're aiming at the door!"

Lloyd glances at the door, apparently unconcerned. "Why the door?" he asks. "What did it ever do to you?"

Zelos drops his defensive stance and stares at Lloyd. "What the hell, bud? You jumped out of bed, did this kick-ass James Bond move and pointed your swords at the door like someone was about to break in!"

Lloyd's face goes blank for a moment- and then he smiles, shrugs and heads back to his bed, saying, "Oh, sorry about that. I was dreaming that I was a secret agent."

* * *

Ok. True story.

Me, my mom, my sis and my dad were all watching TV this afternoon when my dad fell asleep, the remote in his hand. After about thirty minutes napping, he leaped up on the couch, jumped off and did the James Bond roll, pointing the TV remote at the front door. Immediately, the rest of us all screamed- and apparently woke him up, because he turned around… and the rest of it is pretty much self-explanatory.

I was like, "Dad. Really?"


End file.
